| Getting back into the school and work routine is overwhelming for everyone but lets face it, the parentals cop it the most. You kind of feel like that relaxed vibe you had over the break that you promised yourself you would keep, is washed away in tsunami of stress the second you hit Officeworks for back to school stationary shopping. The mental load that is life these days is overwhelming to say the least, even when you don’t have kids! But do we not bring it on ourselves? We need to take a long hard look at ourselves and stop being everyone’s P.A. We have to get the family to start being responsible for their own mental load now. Here are three tips that will ease the burden of your mental load: 1. WHITEBOARDS: I have them everywhere because everyone seems to think I am a walking database calendar of everyones routine, appointments, class schedule, library day, sports day, appointments, social diary etc. Why should I have to know when your library day is or when you need your sport uniform right? HOT TIP- put Whiteboards with detailed monthly schedules of everything going on in each persons room and a master family one in the kitchen. If your old enough to read, you are old enough to know and be responsible to know what you need to do and when things are. The relief of saying “Check your whiteboard!” when they ask what day is their library is like your brain has just spent a week in Fiji. Not your job to remember anymore! 2. Have a MENU PLAN: Thinking about, fielding questions about it and actually cooking dinner at the end of a busy day is one of the biggest and most annoying mental loads we take on. You’re tired, everyones tired and everyones hungry. You feel like a hired chef when “What’s for dinner?” perforates your ears a thousand times as much as “What time is dinner?” To stop this constant harassment on your soul, create a spot on your family master whiteboard for a menu plan for the weeknight dinners. So when they ask, all you need to say is “Check the whiteboard!” (Are you seeing the theme here!) Having a menu plan stops the badgering but also helps you mentally knowing this is not something you need to think (worry) about each day as well! 3. It’s not the FOUR SEASONS HOTEL: “It’s just easier if I do it myself” is something I hear over and over again from parents, but is it really? This to me sounds like a family training problem. If it’s easy for you, why can’t it be just as easy for them to do it too? Dirty clothes on the floor, dirty dishes left on the bench, 7 used glasses left in a bedroom, clean washing “put away” on the floor, toilet rolls left on bathroom benches (kill me now!)…. you know, I could go on and on! Guess what? They are all perfectly capable of looking after the mess they make. They have two arms and two legs and a brain like you so there is no excuse for you to constantly be their hired help! “It’s not the Four Seasons Hotel!” is something my family hears most days from me. Write the rules and expectations on the Family master whiteboard (Yep!) and have a consequence (I find tech is the best currency for ALL ages) for those non obliging members. Your’re not their assistant, you are their parent. Your ultimate job at the end of the day, is arming them with the life tools so they can become independent, move out and have their own lives so you can finally enjoy an actual hot cup of tea for 3 mins. |
Category: school
Are we Killing our Kids with Kindness?
I was at the airport recently and there was a mother with a 6-month-old baby in a sling strapped to her chest. The plane had been delayed a few minutes while we were boarding. The baby started to get bored in the queue and just ever so slightly fussed. The mother immediately whipped out her phone and held it in front of him and the baby basically inhaled whatever was on the screen. In this instance, at 6 months old with thanks to modern technology, this baby had 0.2 of a second of boredom and uncomfortableness.
It made me think of another example. Kids and eating. All parents have had a moment where they need to engage in a total power play around getting their kids to eat a meal (my hand is raised!). Usually, we decorate the battle with the promise of desert, or an iPad is thrust in front of them. Just stop for a second and consider it. You must make the act of eating easier for your child. Why don’t we just use hunger? If your child doesn’t eat the meal in front of them, how about letting hunger be the motivator for them to eat? Is that not the reality of not eating? But we don’t do this do we, we couldn’t possibly let them experience the actual consequence and simple fact of life that if you don’t eat you get hungry and by not doing this, we are disallowing our kids to feel any sort of discomfort.
Doesn’t the saying go “life starts when you are outside of your comfort Zone”? If we are making our children’s life too comfortable, how do we expect them to personally evolve? Why would they bother to?
In perspective, life today has generally never been so comfortable for the average child. Everything is at their fingertips. There has never been so much support from parents and schools. They have so many opportunities but so many expectations. Not allowing our children to feel discomfort is setting them up for a very painful adulthood because we are setting them up for an unrealistic way of life. We use the word resilience a lot in schools. But the only way to build up resilience is to have discomfort. Without discomfort there is nothing to be resilient too.
A frustrated parent posted on social media the other day saying, “after I spent all morning doing chores, my teen woke up at 2pm and I told him to take the rubbish out to which he replied, ‘Do I have to do everything?”. Is this the level of expectations we are creating for our future adults?
A beautiful friend confided that she gets up at 5:30am to check that her son is up as he sleeps through his alarm, so he isn’t late for work. What? No! Let his boss threaten him with losing his job as a motivator to get his feet on the floor in the morning… in fact make your mum a cup of tea in bed before you go too!
Adversity is a great motivator. We need to reframe how we parent. Our job is not to cushion the falls, not to protect from failure and not to carry the burden of our kids’ shortfalls. We have enough on our own plate! We need to teach them to embrace life’s challenges and hard times, to embrace chaos and to embrace mistakes as these are the moments you learn and grow. We can only give them the tools, the rest is up to them.
So maybe, the next time your child says they are bored for 5 seconds on the weekend while you are trying to saviour your first sip of an actual hot tea in 3 years, and you drop everything to take them to the park or a movie. How about handing them the washing to hang out? Or passing them the toilet brush? Watch how quickly they find something to do!
Or the next time you go to email the teacher supporting an excuse for late homework, so they don’t get a detention- stop and let them learn the discomfort of actions and consequences. Let them forget their sports uniform and walk home in the rain. Does your teen want money to hang with friends, ok, how about they get a job? Is that not the reality? There must be a balance of being kind and supportive but also being a parent that teaches them to fly.
At the end of the day, it’s not our job to protect them from life’s discomforts, but to gently guide them through it. It’s in the discomfort that we truly learn to evolve and adapt. We all have our life lessons to learn, let’s not take that privilege away from them.
Death of the Fundraising Chocolate Box as school swaps it for a Fruit and Veg box…
School fundraising. That extra but ever important expense you need to factor into your budget when your kids start school. From spell or math ‘a thons’, twighlight markets, cake stalls, Disco nights, Trivia nights, plastic plates with your child’s drawing on it, aprons and tea towels with every kid in the school’s sketch on it… it leaves your purse empty and with whole bunch of stuff. But you know what? The proceeds do go straight to the school and hopefully in a way that benefits your child’s education too if you have a savvy and well oiled P & C.
Primary school Fundraising Committees are constantly trying to come up with inventive ways to get you to give. But one Primary School is doing it in a way that is finally a win-win for the school and yourself. If you have a kid at school, you would be more than familiar with the Fundraising chocolate box. And look…. I have NEVER, even when I had one school kid (I have 3 now), found the time or energy to sell a full box and this is where I have to say that the old Cadbury Fundraising choc box has one actual benefit (?).
“I don’t have time to sell these so…ok… I guess I’ll have to purchase the whole box” is something that has played out in the mind of many a parent… but you then secretly squeal inside (right?) as you know you are going to delightfully consume most of the contents over the next week while watching Real Housewives and rationalise that it is ok because smashing your mouth full of charity chocolate isn’t as bad for you as normal store bought chocolate because you know…. your helping your school get new Whiteboards with every bite and you’ve got to do your bit for the community….but SPOILER ALERT…. it is still really bad for you. Sorry.
One primary school however, has cottoned on to this… and my waist line would be thanking them very much. Instead of having their yearly chocolate box drive, they are swapping it for a fruit and veg box through this fab company called Delish Deliveries. The produce is local and handpicked delivered to your door.
Every box from Delish sold, a portion of the profit goes to the school. It’s easy! When you have elected your box or the items you need (Yes, you can individually pick what you want) you just click on your school name and a portion of the sale goes to your school. Even if you are a blissfully childless free person living without anyone bickering constantly over the front seat of your car or your kids are no longer school aged and you use Delish you can elect the school in your community and give back. Brilliant! This is a winning idea for numerous reasons. It replaces your weekly fruit and veg shop (battle) so leaving more time for you to drink wine and watch Wentworth (Ha!). You are supporting a homegrown business. There is no annoying your neighbours to death or guilting your work colleagues to buy up big at the detriment of their health and it is an educational lesson to the kids about the importance of eating healthy and locally sourced food.
Seeming that they are raising money for an education institution, it only seems fitting you grab that opportunity and do it in a way that benefits the students brains too right? Delish Deliveries also supply recipes as well (how good to not have to think about what to cook for dinner each night!! OMG my brain has a massive vacant thought corner now!) so it really is educating the whole community and with our known over consumption of sugar and processed food it is sooooo refreshing to be hustled a product that not only aids the school’s facilities but your families health too.
So, I’m thinking this is a win -win?? My waist line definitely thinks so anyway….
If you would like more information on Delish Deliveries and how to implement this fundraising initiative into your school contact 1300 335 474 or email them on info@delishdeliveries.com.au. Check out what else they have to offer at http://www.delishdeliveries.com.au
From fabric scraps on the garage floor to naming Barney’s and Saks amongst their global clients… however there is so much more behind “Munster Kids” that we can all learn from.
Let me tell you about Sam and Rich Brown. They run this amazing company called ‘Munster Kids’. It was created after their first baby was born back in 2003 and Sam had just sold her Day spa and was doing the accounts for Rich’s surf wear brand. Seeing that there was a ton of old stock left over, Sam learned to sew and started making tees for her new son Jax. Sam suggested the idea of creating a kids brand to Rich to which he replied “no freaking way!”…Ha! So of course Sam got her own way and 13 years on Rich is glad he married a strong and very convincing woman. Munster Kids is stocked in over 15 countries and proudly supported by some of the biggest retailers in the world including Barney’s and Saks. Just before you think, “Sweet! I’m going to hit up lincraft fabric bargin bins tomorrow! Love easy fast cash, I will order the yacht now!” think again. The early days were tough, travelling around Australia with a rack of clothes with a baby on her hip and one on the boob while trying to get someone to buy their stuff. Quality romantic time for Sam and Rich was sitting in their garage, aka “The warehouse”, packing orders till late in the night while pregnant and yes this is not the ideal way to spend a ‘Date Night’ with Sam saying “I Truly can’t believe we are still married” but i think it is a tremendous credit to their strong bond for each other. Sam explains, “The brand is our life, it’s really just a reflection of our lifestyle” and this authenticity is why they have been so successful (and still happily married!)
(Image Via: Facebook)
In the early days their business ventures took them to living in Vietnam for a number of years. Sam explains that “ We wanted to be closer to our factory as we expanded sales in to the USA and Europe. We were also up for an adventure so the timing was perfect. We set up an office, employed staff and really took the business to the next level.” There was no car line for kiss and drop at school. Sam and Rich had only one motorbike for the 5 of them. Sam says “I would jump on the bike each day with the 3 kids on the back and head to school…we were the like the Asian family that you see all (5 of us) on 1 bike… We loved the freedom and the uniqueness that everyday provided. Everyday was something new.”
A lot of parents worry about kids going to school in different countries and cultures but Sam seems to think there is nothing to worry about. I am now worried actually that my kids don’t get that experience! In each of her boys classes, there were kids from 15 different nationalities making strong friendships with families from all parts of the world. Not only that, the boys studied and spoke vietnamese and they travelled throughout Asia and had many great experiences together with Sam saying that “I really think that time away really cemented our strong family bond.” Ok…organising the husbands job transfer now…..
(Photo via: facebook)
Not only was Sam raising a brand and a young family with her husband Rich in Vietnam, she also got the opportunity to exercise her love of Mindfulness. Sam started learning about meditation when she was 18 years old and just knowing how good it made her feel from a young age, she has been practising it ever since. While in in Vietnam an opportunity came up to teach. One of the the groups was a bunch of the teachers from the Australian School. Sam says “I remember thinking this is awesome that the teachers are learning this but how amazing would it be to teach this to kids!” And just like her idea to start a kids clothing line, teaching children mindfulness is another idea she just could not let go of. She said to herself “I’m going to find a way to teach this in public schools.” Being used to working hard and down long windy roads with building ‘Munster kids’ with Rich, 7 years later Sam now teaches mindfulness at many different Primary and secondary schools here in Australia. Where there is a will there is way!
So what is so good about teaching mindfulness to children and teens? Sam says “There are so many benefits to practising mindfulness…Increased focus, improved concentration and mental clarity, more awareness and ability to relate to others and one self with kindness acceptance and compassion, emotional intelligence…I think the bottom line is it just helps us to be the best version of ourselves.” Now I ask…who would not want their kid to learn that? Sam also says that she hopes she see’s it become part of the curriculum in the next few years. Which it probably will as going by history, what sam wants sam gets!
Raising a teenage son (or Daughter!) can be challenging at times. Going through all the changes that happens not only psychically but mentally, as they try and work through their developing ego’s, working out boundaries, identities and where they fit in the world. Sam and Rich not escaping these challenges either they decided to take their teenage son Jax back to HoChi Minh City for a charity project “Munster Kids” have been working hard on setting up. Oh yes, they have had time to set up a charity project too!!!
It is called the T4T project. Each season they collaborate with a different artist and they make a tee and a jumper with their artwork and the proceeds from each piece they sell go towards the T4T project. So this year, Sam took her teenage son Jax to the central highlands of Vietnam giving him a first hand experience of giving back and of humility.
They travelled to a small minority village and provided over 400 children with new clothes, boots, jackets and school books. They also provided a new library for the school and gifted several bikes for the kids. Sam says “I wanted Jax to experience the gift of giving, how good it feels to help others. I also wanted to show him that we can all give something, big or small. There’s always something we can do to help the life of another…I would definitely recommend this to other parents…we all need a little reminder at times of just how lucky we are.”
Hmmm…Maybe we should make this part of the curriculum too? I’ll tell Sam…
To check out their full clothing range and to shop online click on munsterkids.com and you can also follow them on Facebook and instagram. Keep an eye on the website too for a full blog piece and photo’s of Sam and Jax’s adventure and about their charity. Clickkatie wishes to extend thanks to Sam an Rich and ‘Munster Kids’ for sharing their story.
“School Canteens, the unlikely Drug Dealer”
Even touching and smelling those brown paper lunch bags makes me salivate for years gone by when it would be a ‘treat’ (or used as a bribe for my mum really) to get a canteen lunch on Friday. Usually it would have been a toasted cheese sandwich or a pie, chocolate milk and a pack of popcorn. While some canteens in NSW have taken their own initiative and sell healthy fresh food, looking at what’s on offer at most Canteens these days it is no wonder we have an obesity crisis with our kids! Hot dogs, chicken nuggets, chicken coujons (whatever they are??) frozen chicken patty burgers, frozen cubes of roast chicken on rolls, flavoured water, Sumo biscuits (cheaper copy version of Oreo biscuits imported from india) and frozen tuna rolls imported from japan thawed in the microwave… and while there should be ‘treats’ in the canteen, we could be making them a lot healthier and fresher.
But change is coming. The NSW Government is in planning stages to completely scrap the outdated “Fresh Tastes Canteen Guidelines” and the confusing and contradictory ‘Green, Amber and Red’ food rating guide. They will be looking to introduce a “Healthy Star Rating” system that includes measuring not only the fat and sodium content of products but the SUGAR content as well.
According to a spokesperson from the NSW Department of Health, the strategy “has been revised based on extensive evidence and to align with the latest Australian Dietary Guidelines” and is a “joint initiative led by the Department of Education and supported by the NSW Ministry of Health”. So as I understand it, canteen operators can check the packaging for a health star rating out of five and be able to place them in either the ‘everyday’ or ‘occasional’ category.
The higher the rating, the healthier. They can also check if there is a healthier option available on the website www.foodswitch.com.au by comparing products. The problem is that most of the products I checked that are in my children’s canteen currently (and most canteens) are not among the 20,000 listed. So does that mean they can still be sold? How are they going to police that canteens are doing the right thing? What will be the minimum star rating for an ‘Everyday’ product? Will there be a policy that will dictate a minimum amount of fresh, locally sourced food to be available as well? After speaking to the Department of Health, it seems they haven’t worked this out yet either. The implementation should be happening early thist year, and really it couldn’t come quick enough.
The most recent laughable moment I had lately was when I was visiting another primary school to attend a spelling Bee competition my son was in. They were having treat day as it was end of term. According to the current NSW Department of Education you are allowed these ‘Red’ coded items once a term on ‘treat day’.
Their special treat day food was lollies. But looking at the everyday menu they had, EVERYDAY was a treat day. The menu was selling TNT ice blocks which not only contain hideous chemicals (one that Aldi has banned from its products) but has more sugar (10.5g) than a fun size Kit Kat (7g).
Aside from the sugar, they have high amounts of unnecessary additives such as colour.
“[These additives] are most often found in foods like cordials, lollies, cakes and soft drinks, which we are recommended to have only as an occasional treat anyway, it is easy enough to avoid colour additives by only eating these foods rarely, if it all,” says David Oakenfull from Choice magazine.
“In light of the UK food regulator’s decision to push for industry action to remove some of these colours altogether, we’d like to see FSANZ review the situation in Australia.” WOW!
Considering these canteen items contain the same amount of sugar as confectionary AND have unnecessary additives why aren’t they classified as “red” food?
Not only are school kids eating “regular” items that may as well be Kit Kats no one is monitoring how many they consume in a day. From my experience working in the school canteen, most kids never eat just one!
(Image Via: Google)
Stephen Guilford who is an Australian Food Technology Consultant and is the Directer of ‘Smart Food Consulting’ in Victoria has a degree in (Chemistry), PhD (Organic Chemistry) and has 33 years in the food industry. He is a member of the AIFTST and the American Society for Nutrition. In a report he wrote last year, he narrowed the problem with school canteens with two questions, “Whether children and adults are able to ensure a balanced nutritious diet and adequate exercise when unhealthy foods are available? and Whether schools are an appropriate place for the sale of high sugar, low nutritious food and drink?” he also states that “The current obesity and diabetes epidemic would suggest to me that there is a lack of education and example with regard to healthy eating, an overabundance of unhealthy food and lack of exercise across the community.”
Currently, the Department of Education canteen guidelines titled “Fresh Tastes”, which school canteen operators use as their guidelines when deciding what foods to order for sale, only sets a limit for saturated fats and the amount of Sodium in canteen products, NOT SUGAR or additives. (Pg. 13 of the Fresh Tastes at School canteen guide). The biggest problem is that no one really MONITORS school canteens. Principals are supposed to do a review every two years but no one from the Department of Education is policing it. Also, there is the argument that it is actually the parents responsibility to educate their own children in making healthy food choices and developing healthy eating habits, not the school canteen operators.
However, Dr Stephen Guillford argues this by saying in his report “In a recent study Am J Clin Nutr doi: 10.3945/ajcn. 115.128454, Sarah Anderson et al “found no evidence that US preschool-aged children who frequently consumed fruit, vegetables, and milk were any less likely than children who infrequently consumed these aspects of a healthy diet, to have a high consumption of SSBs (sugar sweetened beverages), fast food, sweets, and salty snacks.” So basically even if your children eat healthy at home they will still buy the soft drinks, salty snacks, processed and sugar laden foods given the opportunity.
Primary schools, being an educational facility plus already having healthy eating information in the PDHPE curriculum absolutely do have a responsibility to then NOT serve sugar/chemical laced junk food in the canteen. We also need to remember that not all kids come from families that have healthy eating habits and so these kids can have an equal chance at a healthy lifestyle, it is their duty of care for the school canteen to provide this.
What about cost? Of course we don’t want our canteens eating up fundraising money to stay afloat. However, quite a few canteens are loosing money under the current Fresh Tastes guidelines from only serving the cheaper quality food as general society are becoming gradually, more educated in healthy fresh eating and our canteens aren’t matching this demand so many parents won’t buy hardly any canteen lunches.
(Image via: Google)
Plus, healthy food is not more expensive than junk food, Jamie Oliver is not one to fall for that argument. He states in an interview with webmd “I’ve spent time in Italy and seen the poorest of people eating the most delicious — but really inexpensive — food because they know how to use ingredients. I’ve been to South Africa and seen women in shantytowns preparing meals for school kids that cost a few cents but had huge nutritional value. How much are a few vegetables? How much is a bag of dried [whole-wheat] pasta? I could easily feed a family of four for under $10 — which is less than any junk food.” Parents also need to realise that just because it is a school canteen, food in general not going to be cheaper. Food costs what it costs, some parents still have this expectation that it should be cheaper.
The implementation of the new Heath Star Rating guideline should be happening early this year and I really hope it will be able to maintain consistency and monitor exactly what is being sold over the counter… the future health and well being of our children are depending on it.