| Getting back into the school and work routine is overwhelming for everyone but lets face it, the parentals cop it the most. You kind of feel like that relaxed vibe you had over the break that you promised yourself you would keep, is washed away in tsunami of stress the second you hit Officeworks for back to school stationary shopping. The mental load that is life these days is overwhelming to say the least, even when you don’t have kids! But do we not bring it on ourselves? We need to take a long hard look at ourselves and stop being everyone’s P.A. We have to get the family to start being responsible for their own mental load now. Here are three tips that will ease the burden of your mental load: 1. WHITEBOARDS: I have them everywhere because everyone seems to think I am a walking database calendar of everyones routine, appointments, class schedule, library day, sports day, appointments, social diary etc. Why should I have to know when your library day is or when you need your sport uniform right? HOT TIP- put Whiteboards with detailed monthly schedules of everything going on in each persons room and a master family one in the kitchen. If your old enough to read, you are old enough to know and be responsible to know what you need to do and when things are. The relief of saying “Check your whiteboard!” when they ask what day is their library is like your brain has just spent a week in Fiji. Not your job to remember anymore! 2. Have a MENU PLAN: Thinking about, fielding questions about it and actually cooking dinner at the end of a busy day is one of the biggest and most annoying mental loads we take on. You’re tired, everyones tired and everyones hungry. You feel like a hired chef when “What’s for dinner?” perforates your ears a thousand times as much as “What time is dinner?” To stop this constant harassment on your soul, create a spot on your family master whiteboard for a menu plan for the weeknight dinners. So when they ask, all you need to say is “Check the whiteboard!” (Are you seeing the theme here!) Having a menu plan stops the badgering but also helps you mentally knowing this is not something you need to think (worry) about each day as well! 3. It’s not the FOUR SEASONS HOTEL: “It’s just easier if I do it myself” is something I hear over and over again from parents, but is it really? This to me sounds like a family training problem. If it’s easy for you, why can’t it be just as easy for them to do it too? Dirty clothes on the floor, dirty dishes left on the bench, 7 used glasses left in a bedroom, clean washing “put away” on the floor, toilet rolls left on bathroom benches (kill me now!)…. you know, I could go on and on! Guess what? They are all perfectly capable of looking after the mess they make. They have two arms and two legs and a brain like you so there is no excuse for you to constantly be their hired help! “It’s not the Four Seasons Hotel!” is something my family hears most days from me. Write the rules and expectations on the Family master whiteboard (Yep!) and have a consequence (I find tech is the best currency for ALL ages) for those non obliging members. Your’re not their assistant, you are their parent. Your ultimate job at the end of the day, is arming them with the life tools so they can become independent, move out and have their own lives so you can finally enjoy an actual hot cup of tea for 3 mins. |
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